‘Joe Picasso is a cool character name. I’d enjoy spending more time on the floor with him, in the scene where he discovers the coin and figures out the scam. As this is, we are abruptly told beginning middle and end without getting to know any characters to care about.’
‘The scam sounded plausible, but the mystery was solved too easily making the story lack tension. Consider expanding it so we sense the addictive excitement of the slot-machine player and feel the drama as the net closes around him. Developing the characters would make them, and the plot, more believable. For example, share some insight on what motivates the gambler to cheat, or what makes this detective able to solve the crime when others have missed the signs.’
‘Certainly a workable premise for a story, but as the others mention the piece needs much more development.’
And I don’t see why they can’t see that their suggestions are impossible because of word limit. My reply to them:
Thank you for considering my submission. I’m not making excuses but I tried my best to make my story fit the word limit at its best. I could not add or take away any more text.